On whose terms?

This holiday season, I spend a great deal of time in meditation on/prayer for my many friends whose family gatherings are not filled with love, joy, and celebration--to be sure these gatherings are quite difficult.  You see, for many of these dear friends of mine, their experience with "family" and "church" has been less than nurturing, less than loving, less than "safe".  They have been, for many years, awkward, difficult, uncomfortable, etc.......

We live in a society for whom sin is "relative."  That is, some sin is more socially acceptable than other sin.  The distiction comes not from scripture, but from imperfect, flawed, human, tradition.  In the U.S. today, there are simply certain ways of living life that are more socially acceptable than others--oddly not based on what scripture has to say about such lifestyles, but based on the opinion of others--the social opinion--the opinion of what is "acceptable" and what is not.

So, as it happens, many of my brothers and sisters (sometimes myself, if I'm honest) are faced with a holiday schedule that isn't at all restful or relaxing--it is, in fact, a schedule that brings the most real and tangible kind of stress.  This stress is brought on by the time spent with family, old friends, and community members whose assessment of the way in which we live places them in a position that is simply not acceptable to those doing the assessing.  Most of us have had the following experience:  We've forged a life based on our own experience with God and the world, and this experience has dictated the type of life we live.  Sometimes that life has characteristics that are not socially acceptable to members of the community in which we were reared (including our very own families).  And so during the holidays, we're often faced with situations, conversations, even confrontations about the lives we live.  Merry Christmas!

I am a lover of tradition.  I  long to honor the tradition of faith that my parents and their parents before them have handed down to me.  It is because of their faithfulness, in fact, that I know who God is.  I celibrate this!  I want to honor their legacy, and thank them for the gift of faithfulness that they have given to me and others.

I also long to make faith my own.  Faith in God is a gift from those who come before us, to be sure--but ultimately each of us must forge his or her own way in faith--seeking God and what he has to reveal to us PERSONALLY, as individuals.  God has most certainly revealed Himself to our parents--but that revelation cannot make up the whole of our personal faith--Our faith MUST come from God's revelation of Himself to us as individuals--in spite of the revelation of Himself to our dear Fathers and Mothers.

This is difficult for the following reason:  God gets to do what He wants.  His wisdom far surpasses our own.  I must be ready for God to reveal Himself to someone else differently than He has revealed Himself to me.  In practice, what this means is that we don't get to question, doubt, challenge, judge, correct others when they express the ways in which God has revealed Himself to them--NO MATTER TO WHAT DEGREE IT DIFFERRS FROM OUR OWN EXPERIENCE.

But we DO in fact question, doubt, challenge, judge others because of how they live their lives--we challenge them because we're convinced of who God is based on his revelation of Himself to us (not inherantly a bad thing) without leaving ourselves open to the notion that God might (in his Holy wisdom) reveal Himself to each of us in a different way.

Our guide MUST be Holy Scripture.  We're taught in scripture that no one is without sin (Rom 3:23) and that, amidst all our imperfection, God sent his Son to stand as a sacrifice, paying the price for the sin of all (Rom 3:35).  This means,  simply, that I am no better than any other.  I have no monopoly on right (or righteous) living.  I have no better method of "doing life" than any other person.  My sin, my brokenness, my imperfection renders me less than YOU (whomever YOU happen to be) thereby preventing me from making any claim of righteousness that I might use as a basis for judgment.  God forgive my arrogance--I am in no way better than any other person.

Scripture tells us that all are sinful, and there is none righteous--NO NOT ONE! (Romans 3:10).  Because this is true, there is no such thing as a socially acceptable sin.  Sin is sin.  A gossip, fornicator, a liar, a prideful man--each of these is looked upon as exactly the same by God--and so it should be with us.

Forgive us, Lord, for asking others to meet us on OUR terms rather than YOURS.  Your Son Jesus, our Savior, loved all where they were--He went to THEIR homes, he met THEIR needs, and did so selflessly, making Himself their servant.  My prayer is that I might deal with each of your children the same way--not on MY terms, but on Yours--They are your creation.  You love them.  They have a place in the Kingdom, and therefore, they are my brothers and sisters.  Send your Spirit, oh Lord, that He may guide me as I strive to meet this goal.  Bless my efforts--forgive my imperfections and shortcomings.  Glory be to You, oh God.

All the best to each of you this holiday season.

-Mikey