doing less is doing more

Psalm 55:22

"Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken."

 I've spent a lot of time in my life "getting in there" and "making things happen."  I am by nature a very goal-oriented person who works very hard and doesn't stop 'till his goal is accomplished.  I'm a "doer."  This has served me well in a lot of areas in my life--but causes problems in others.  

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend about what life looked like for me a few years back--all the crazy drugs, debauchery, etc...  We talked about how the drug use was just a way to mask/hide the large amounts of pain I had inside--how I didn't know what to "do" to effectively deal with the hurts in my life so instead, I just made myself numb by using.  Being a goal-oriented "doer" wasn't serving me well in those days.  Then she asked this question:

"SO, what do you do NOW to take care of the pain?"

To be honest, it was a weird moment.  I hadn't thought about that.  And when I DID think about it, I reacted this way:

"Oh, no.  I don't do that.  God does that.  I don't know what He does or how He does it, but He does."

It's true.  I don't exactly know when or how it happened, but at some point I stopped dealing with it and let God do that.  I'd love to be able to say that I've been spiritually enlightened and am just really good at being selfless but I think we all know that's a bunch of crap.  God is "doing" something IN me, and to HIM be the glory, not myself.
 
And so now this question has been nagging at the back of my mind:  What DOES God do?  What is this something He's doing in me?  See, I'm a  "doer." I'd love to figure out what God's strategy is so I can "do" it too!  And maybe, when I'm done "doing" for myself, I can get in there and "do" for others also!


I don't have any idea what God does in our hearts that makes us know that we're loved and heals the hurts of the world.  Further, it's kinda sweet that I don't know--I don't think I want to know!  How freeing it is to not have to worry about that part!  I get to throw my hands up and say "this stuff is above my pay grade--I'm not dealing with it, I'm passing this up the chain of command," and it always gets dealt with. 

Don't get me wrong--I know that God calls us to action.  Faith without works is dead, right?  Amen!  But the action God calls us to is the action associated with His plan, not ours.  And besides, that's not even what I'm talking about here--I'm talking about the beautiful, mysterious, awesome ways he moves in our hearts, softens them, heals them, loves them.  That's the sweet stuff that I wish I could put in a bottle and hand out like candy.

For the past few days, I've been walking around stretching my eyes open as far as they'll go to try and recognize God's signature on things that would lift me up, encourage me, and make me feel loved.  If you've ever done this you know that it doesn't take long to realize God's signatures are EVERYWHERE!  He's put beautiful people in my life and shows me His love through them.  Sometimes it comes in the form of a hug.  Sometimes in the form of an email.  Sometimes a note from a student that looks like this:

Sometimes a note from a friend that looks like this:

No matter how he does it, God spends the day healing my hurts, and saying "I love you."  I am super thankful that I serve a God who takes care of my hurts and I don't have to.  When I try and be the "doer," I end up messing things up.  What if we passed EVERYTHING up the chain of command?  What if when we get ready to "do" we check to make sure it's God's plan, not ours?  When I let God do His job...things get taken care of.  My prayer is that I'll learn more and more to give things over to Him so that He can deal with them. I pray I'll stop "doing" and begin to let God do his work in me. 

Grace and Peace,

-Mikey

"The God of Seasons" (a/k/a "My eyelashes are falling out!")

We've reached my favorite time of year. Fall just completely rocks! We all know when it's coming--there's just an electric change in the air. The signs are all around us: Days begin getting shorter, nights colder, and we have a few fantastically awesome thunderstorms. Then before you know it, there are mums and pumpkins on everybody's door step and specialty spiced cider drinks being featured at your favorite coffee shop. You can always tell when fall is coming, and I love it!

I have another way to know that fall is coming: My eyelashes all fall out. Really. As far back as I can remember, my body does this weird thing where it doesn't get rid of my eyelashes one at a time. No, no...my eyelashes all let go together, usually in the course of a couple of days. I'll wake up in the morning with lashes all over my pillow. I'll reach up to itch my eye, and pull my hand back to discover four lashes came back with it. Is this weird?

I've tried to find some rhyme or reason to the cycle of lash letting, and the best I can tell, it always happens with the change of the seasons. I always know when summer or winter REALLY HAS ended, because I walk around with bald eyelids.

I am so grateful that I serve a God of seasons. This is such a gift! I'm not just talking about the earthly seasons that we experience through the year which are marked by a change in weather, although they ARE pretty sweet. I'm talking about spiritual seasons. Scripture tells us that "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 3:1) In all things, God gives us just what we need, just as much as we need, and for just as long as we need. We don't go through the tough stuff ALL the time, lest we buckle under despair, forget how to laugh, forget to enjoy the gift of life God has given us. We don't get the good stuff ALL the time, lest we grow complacent and take it for granted, never growing. Just for a season. That's all God asks.

God has been having a "sit down" with me the past few days. I've prayed for Him to reveal the next step for me, the next avenue I'll take in my journey to live the life I have been created to live. It seems that my bald eyelids indicate more than the changing of seasons here on Earth--it seems that the time has come for me to enter into a new spiritual season--a season of sifting.

1Thessolonians 5:23-24 begins "May God Himself, the God of peace sanctify you through and through (emphasis mine)" There's an awful lot of junk hidden in the secret compartments of my "through and through" and its time for me to let God get his hands in there to sift through it all to determine what is worthy of the journey and what will be left behind. Fears, insecurities, memories of past failure, stubbornness--there's a lot there, and it needs sifting.

As I enter into this season, I'm excited to be sure--God has given me my marching orders and nothing could be more exciting! However, I know that it won't be fun--in fact it likely will be excruciating. God intends to completely turn me inside out (just as I've asked him to). He knows I'm ready. He knows it's time. The previous season is ending, and a new one is beginning. It will glorious and sweet and heartbreaking and so very painful, but God is faithful. Besides, it's only for a season.

What season are you living in at this time of your life? Where on the map of your journey has God brought you? Is the difficult season you're facing dragging on far too long--so long you think you may not make it? Has God indicated in your life (whether through eyelashes or some other method) that it's time to move to the next season? Are you resisting? The enemy would love nothing more than to trap us into thinking that our season of joy is right where we need to stay, thereby stealing from us the gift of God's refinement of our hearts. He'd love to trick us into believing that our season of mourning or despair won't ever end and we ought to give up. Either way it's a lie. Remember that we serve a God of seasons, and He is faithful.

Grace and Peace,

Mikey

Inaugural Blog-11 years to 11 days

By our very nature, we all want to resist from time to time. We resist change. We resist challenge. We resist chores. I resist as much as anyone, if not more. The list of things I've stood stubbornly against is long and distinguished: Y2K, Capri Pants, the movie "Titanic." And yes, in this computer-driven, socially networked age, I've resisted blogging.

Even when blogging was just "journaling," I was a resister. My friends and loved ones all told me how writing down your thoughts and feelings is so helpful--you get it all out there where you can process and evaluate it, and when all is said and done, you get to look back to see how far you've come, how much you've grown. Now, since our musings are accessible via the internet to, well, everyone, we can get real-time feedback on our thoughts, encouragement, support. What a deal, right?

I'd love to be able to say that I have some legit reason to resist like "I process things verbally," or "I'm so busy doing God's work that I have no time." Truth be told, I think I'm just lazy. I mean, it feels like homework to me, and who needs more of that?

The Israelites, we read in the Old Testament, were delivered out of bondage from Egypt and embarked on an amazing journey toward the promised land. We all know the story, right? It wasn't a very fun trip, and when all was said and done they'd spent 40 years traveling a distance that should have taken them 11 days. 40 years! The ironic and terrifying and sad thing is that they were never more than an 11 day trip away from claiming their promise. It was RIGHT THERE within their grasp all along, but instead of reaching out and claiming it, they just circled 'round and 'round and 'round that same mountain wondering when God was going to show up.

I'm 29 years old and upon reflection of the story of the Iraelites wonder if I have 11 more years before I see MY promised land. I wonder what the journey will be like. It's been a heck of a ride thus far to be sure! Those who know me well can attest to the great deal of wandering I've done in the wilderness of my life--trip after trip after trip around the same mountain (or two) wondering when God was going to show up.

The events of my life recently have caused me to believe that the promises of God REALLY ARE within our grasp, and I'm also starting to belieive my ability to grasp them really will be determined by the trip I make. I can make choices that will lead me in the wilderness for 11 more years, or I can reach out to God, allow him to work, and find myself living His promises in someting closer to the 11 days.

No, I don't mean to say that I expect life to become perfect on October 14th, or look for Jesus to return on October 14th, or even think I might die on October 14th. The days and years are figurative--a representation of the journey.

So here I am, a resister, and I'm starting a blog. And here's why: When I get to that promised land, I want to be able to look back and see HOW I did it so I can help those I love find their way faster. God is faithful. His promises are sure. I know He intends to deliver me, and I want those I love to come with! Let's Go! I need your support, your prayers, your dilligence in holding me accountable. My prayer is that this blog will be a blessing to me (yes, of course) but more importantly a blessing to those who come after me. Not because I'm so "good" but really and truly because I'm not. I have made and expect to make TONS of mistakes along the way, and the thought of everyone seeing those mistakes splayed here scares the crap out of me--BUT (and this is a big but) if seeing me screw up along the way will help others learn not to make those same mistakes, then what better good can possibly come from them? That's why I blog.

I really do believe the God is going to turn my 11 years into 11 days. My hope and prayer is that for each reader of this blog, He'll do the same thing.

Grace and Peace,
Mikey