This holiday season, I spend a great deal of time in meditation on/prayer for my many friends whose family gatherings are not filled with love, joy, and celebration--to be sure these gatherings are quite difficult. You see, for many of these dear friends of mine, their experience with "family" and "church" has been less than nurturing, less than loving, less than "safe". They have been, for many years, awkward, difficult, uncomfortable, etc.......
We live in a society for whom sin is "relative." That is, some sin is more socially acceptable than other sin. The distiction comes not from scripture, but from imperfect, flawed, human, tradition. In the U.S. today, there are simply certain ways of living life that are more socially acceptable than others--oddly not based on what scripture has to say about such lifestyles, but based on the opinion of others--the social opinion--the opinion of what is "acceptable" and what is not.
So, as it happens, many of my brothers and sisters (sometimes myself, if I'm honest) are faced with a holiday schedule that isn't at all restful or relaxing--it is, in fact, a schedule that brings the most real and tangible kind of stress. This stress is brought on by the time spent with family, old friends, and community members whose assessment of the way in which we live places them in a position that is simply not acceptable to those doing the assessing. Most of us have had the following experience: We've forged a life based on our own experience with God and the world, and this experience has dictated the type of life we live. Sometimes that life has characteristics that are not socially acceptable to members of the community in which we were reared (including our very own families). And so during the holidays, we're often faced with situations, conversations, even confrontations about the lives we live. Merry Christmas!
I am a lover of tradition. I long to honor the tradition of faith that my parents and their parents before them have handed down to me. It is because of their faithfulness, in fact, that I know who God is. I celibrate this! I want to honor their legacy, and thank them for the gift of faithfulness that they have given to me and others.
I also long to make faith my own. Faith in God is a gift from those who come before us, to be sure--but ultimately each of us must forge his or her own way in faith--seeking God and what he has to reveal to us PERSONALLY, as individuals. God has most certainly revealed Himself to our parents--but that revelation cannot make up the whole of our personal faith--Our faith MUST come from God's revelation of Himself to us as individuals--in spite of the revelation of Himself to our dear Fathers and Mothers.
This is difficult for the following reason: God gets to do what He wants. His wisdom far surpasses our own. I must be ready for God to reveal Himself to someone else differently than He has revealed Himself to me. In practice, what this means is that we don't get to question, doubt, challenge, judge, correct others when they express the ways in which God has revealed Himself to them--NO MATTER TO WHAT DEGREE IT DIFFERRS FROM OUR OWN EXPERIENCE.
But we DO in fact question, doubt, challenge, judge others because of how they live their lives--we challenge them because we're convinced of who God is based on his revelation of Himself to us (not inherantly a bad thing) without leaving ourselves open to the notion that God might (in his Holy wisdom) reveal Himself to each of us in a different way.
Our guide MUST be Holy Scripture. We're taught in scripture that no one is without sin (Rom 3:23) and that, amidst all our imperfection, God sent his Son to stand as a sacrifice, paying the price for the sin of all (Rom 3:35). This means, simply, that I am no better than any other. I have no monopoly on right (or righteous) living. I have no better method of "doing life" than any other person. My sin, my brokenness, my imperfection renders me less than YOU (whomever YOU happen to be) thereby preventing me from making any claim of righteousness that I might use as a basis for judgment. God forgive my arrogance--I am in no way better than any other person.
Scripture tells us that all are sinful, and there is none righteous--NO NOT ONE! (Romans 3:10). Because this is true, there is no such thing as a socially acceptable sin. Sin is sin. A gossip, fornicator, a liar, a prideful man--each of these is looked upon as exactly the same by God--and so it should be with us.
Forgive us, Lord, for asking others to meet us on OUR terms rather than YOURS. Your Son Jesus, our Savior, loved all where they were--He went to THEIR homes, he met THEIR needs, and did so selflessly, making Himself their servant. My prayer is that I might deal with each of your children the same way--not on MY terms, but on Yours--They are your creation. You love them. They have a place in the Kingdom, and therefore, they are my brothers and sisters. Send your Spirit, oh Lord, that He may guide me as I strive to meet this goal. Bless my efforts--forgive my imperfections and shortcomings. Glory be to You, oh God.
All the best to each of you this holiday season.
-Mikey
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
'Tis the season. Gifting your heart (leave the stuff alone!)
'Tis the season, no? Autumn was great, and is gone--we know because the pumpkins have be replaced by wreaths, lights twinkle on just about anything that will stand still, and folks are making lists and checking them twice. The lists include goodies of all sorts, and why wouldn't they? This is the season of giving--we're expected to give "stuff" to each other and, in fact, we're taught that this is how we show love--the gift of "stuff" Our society is built from the ground up on the notion that getting "stuff" is very important, especially this time of year.
I believe, however, that love is what makes a gift. The "stuff" is fine, but then you have all this "stuff" and rarely does is do much more than weigh you down and leave you wanting other "stuff". What we really want (need, actually) is each other's love which lifts us up instead of weighing us down--then, when we want more of THAT, we find it to be available in abundance. Soon, when we discover how our gift giving can have an impact far beyond the initial gift--our "love" button gets pushed and giving takes on a whole new meaning. Here are some gift suggestions that have pushed my "love" button and how they might keep kiving long after the gifting season is gone.
1.) Home baked goods.
All joking aside, who doesn't like a home baked goodie? I happen to be a sucker for a well made fruit cake and don't understand why in the world people groan when recieiving them. Breads, cookies, candies...these are fun, eco-friendly, and carry no consumerism baggage. When enjoying a sweet or salty treat given by a loved one, I can feel the love they've poured into the package--and the best part is you can share it, sending the love down the line! That is the point of gifting, right?
2.) Theater Tickets: The ultimate experience in community.
Yes, I know that because I make my living as a theater artist this might look like a self-promotion...but know that I work in the non-profit theater sector primarily because I believe in it. Most theaters across the U.S. are run as non-profit organizations, and well they should be. The impact that a local theater company on any given community is HUGE--they stimulate local economy, they improve quality of life for patrons, which in turn stimulates growth and the economy, and they provide students with learning opportunities that impact every part of their lives (not just the artistic part)--All of this is done in collaborative way that involves the corporate community, the education community, and on and on, and on. Plus--its plain fun. When you purchase a ticket to a local, non-profit theater you are truly investing in your community. Plus you've given your loved one a culturally significant experience. I could go on and on--
3.) Time, times two.
Speaking of non-profit organizations, what better way to give of yourself than to give to your time--it's the most precious and valuable thing you have, and you have more than enough to give. Organizations abound that allow you to serve the needs of others. Can't put that under the tree for your nephew you say? Sure you can!--try this: Make a list of 5 organizations in your community, and make a time matching gift. YOU spend 20 hours at the homeless shelter(etc), and so will I! We'll do it together. This way you've doubled your time gift, and built your relationship with that nephew in the process (not to mention taught him a valuable lesson about the joy of giving rather than receiving.)
4.) Reusable water bottle.
Did you know that it costs more money to drink bottled water than to put gas in your car--up to five times more--due mainly to its packaging and transportation. Plus the damage done to the Earth by all those left over bottles is devastating...all for very little benefit as bottled water is statistically no more healthy than tap water. By carrying your own water bottles around you make a huge difference in the world--and what with all the trendy cool models like THESE by the good people at SIGG, water bottles make the perfect accessory. Bring your own bottle, save the world, and look hot doing it...how could you do better that that?
5.) A Furry Friend.
Giving a home to a needy animal brings unmeasurable rewards! Furry Friends offer companionship, contribute love, and make a house a home. Every town or city in the U.S. has a shelter that is brimming with sweet, cuddly pets-to-be, and the one nearest you is sure to have a critter that is just the right fit for your friend. Get uber-creative and sustainable by gifting a laying hen who will produce eggs for feasting and provide an opportunity to teach youngsters responsibility. An additional family member in the form of a family pet is never a bad way to go!
6.) If it's living, it's love.
As living beings we're programmed to share life with other living beings--what a gift it is to care for something living, watch it grow, and enjoy the world with it. So, give a plant, a flower garden kit, a rose bush. Not "Christmasy" enough for you? How about this snassy Heirloom Scotch Pine Christmas Tree starter from Cafe Gratitude? You get to plant the tree, enjoy raising it, and in doing so, invest in the future...what a handsome Christmas tree it will grow to be! Plus, helping out the good people at Cafe Gratitude is just a snugly thing to do--way to make the gift count!
7.) Give your zip code
Know any local artists, wood-workers, bakers, etc.? Buying from these folks is great on so many levels. Your money stays in your community, it stimulates your economy, and it insures that your loved ones get one of a kind goodies. In my community, we have quilters. In my community we have wood-workers. In my community we have local musicians. In my community we have sculptors and potters. By supporting these people and stimulating their business (thereby stimulating their work) you give a gift to EVERYONE--your support ensures that they'll be around longer and everyone benefits. If you're eating your zip code through the year you might decide to give some canned food items from your pantry. Whatever it is, you'll find that you and your loved ones are blessed by spending your resources locally.
8.) Buy it used, make it "New Plus You"
Old stuff isn't old when you pour yourself into it...a "New Plus You" something or other is, in fact, one of a kind, which makes it even better! Re-furbish an antique piece of furniture to make it beautiful and filled with your love. You'll have given something far more valuable than you could ever purchase in a national store, and you'll have spent less doing it.
9.) The gift of taking away.
A dear friend of mine has two little tykes and she's made a beautiful tradition in her home that teaches her little ones to give. Each Christmas, they count their new gifts and for each new toy received, they must choose one to give away to someone less fortunate. I love it. What a concept! The gifts go to those who need to be loved most. The gifts are green (cuz they weren't purchased new) and free of consumerism baggage. Best of all, the giving of these gifts will instill a spirit in the kids that will outlast their parent's choices...likely spreading to the generations. I can think of no better gift to give those kids than to teach them to give things away!
10.) Inspiration
Each of these gifts come with an added bonus...by gifting this way, you inspire others to do the same. When they feel the warm fuzzy love you've given and realize that they can learn from your example, you'll have acheived something special--your gifting will have gone on to innumerable others. What a thought.
Peace and love to you all this gifting season.
May your giving be about sharing,
May your giving be about love!
Mikey
I believe, however, that love is what makes a gift. The "stuff" is fine, but then you have all this "stuff" and rarely does is do much more than weigh you down and leave you wanting other "stuff". What we really want (need, actually) is each other's love which lifts us up instead of weighing us down--then, when we want more of THAT, we find it to be available in abundance. Soon, when we discover how our gift giving can have an impact far beyond the initial gift--our "love" button gets pushed and giving takes on a whole new meaning. Here are some gift suggestions that have pushed my "love" button and how they might keep kiving long after the gifting season is gone.
1.) Home baked goods.
All joking aside, who doesn't like a home baked goodie? I happen to be a sucker for a well made fruit cake and don't understand why in the world people groan when recieiving them. Breads, cookies, candies...these are fun, eco-friendly, and carry no consumerism baggage. When enjoying a sweet or salty treat given by a loved one, I can feel the love they've poured into the package--and the best part is you can share it, sending the love down the line! That is the point of gifting, right?
2.) Theater Tickets: The ultimate experience in community.
Yes, I know that because I make my living as a theater artist this might look like a self-promotion...but know that I work in the non-profit theater sector primarily because I believe in it. Most theaters across the U.S. are run as non-profit organizations, and well they should be. The impact that a local theater company on any given community is HUGE--they stimulate local economy, they improve quality of life for patrons, which in turn stimulates growth and the economy, and they provide students with learning opportunities that impact every part of their lives (not just the artistic part)--All of this is done in collaborative way that involves the corporate community, the education community, and on and on, and on. Plus--its plain fun. When you purchase a ticket to a local, non-profit theater you are truly investing in your community. Plus you've given your loved one a culturally significant experience. I could go on and on--
3.) Time, times two.
Speaking of non-profit organizations, what better way to give of yourself than to give to your time--it's the most precious and valuable thing you have, and you have more than enough to give. Organizations abound that allow you to serve the needs of others. Can't put that under the tree for your nephew you say? Sure you can!--try this: Make a list of 5 organizations in your community, and make a time matching gift. YOU spend 20 hours at the homeless shelter(etc), and so will I! We'll do it together. This way you've doubled your time gift, and built your relationship with that nephew in the process (not to mention taught him a valuable lesson about the joy of giving rather than receiving.)
4.) Reusable water bottle.
Did you know that it costs more money to drink bottled water than to put gas in your car--up to five times more--due mainly to its packaging and transportation. Plus the damage done to the Earth by all those left over bottles is devastating...all for very little benefit as bottled water is statistically no more healthy than tap water. By carrying your own water bottles around you make a huge difference in the world--and what with all the trendy cool models like THESE by the good people at SIGG, water bottles make the perfect accessory. Bring your own bottle, save the world, and look hot doing it...how could you do better that that?
5.) A Furry Friend.
Giving a home to a needy animal brings unmeasurable rewards! Furry Friends offer companionship, contribute love, and make a house a home. Every town or city in the U.S. has a shelter that is brimming with sweet, cuddly pets-to-be, and the one nearest you is sure to have a critter that is just the right fit for your friend. Get uber-creative and sustainable by gifting a laying hen who will produce eggs for feasting and provide an opportunity to teach youngsters responsibility. An additional family member in the form of a family pet is never a bad way to go!
6.) If it's living, it's love.
As living beings we're programmed to share life with other living beings--what a gift it is to care for something living, watch it grow, and enjoy the world with it. So, give a plant, a flower garden kit, a rose bush. Not "Christmasy" enough for you? How about this snassy Heirloom Scotch Pine Christmas Tree starter from Cafe Gratitude? You get to plant the tree, enjoy raising it, and in doing so, invest in the future...what a handsome Christmas tree it will grow to be! Plus, helping out the good people at Cafe Gratitude is just a snugly thing to do--way to make the gift count!
7.) Give your zip code
Know any local artists, wood-workers, bakers, etc.? Buying from these folks is great on so many levels. Your money stays in your community, it stimulates your economy, and it insures that your loved ones get one of a kind goodies. In my community, we have quilters. In my community we have wood-workers. In my community we have local musicians. In my community we have sculptors and potters. By supporting these people and stimulating their business (thereby stimulating their work) you give a gift to EVERYONE--your support ensures that they'll be around longer and everyone benefits. If you're eating your zip code through the year you might decide to give some canned food items from your pantry. Whatever it is, you'll find that you and your loved ones are blessed by spending your resources locally.
8.) Buy it used, make it "New Plus You"
Old stuff isn't old when you pour yourself into it...a "New Plus You" something or other is, in fact, one of a kind, which makes it even better! Re-furbish an antique piece of furniture to make it beautiful and filled with your love. You'll have given something far more valuable than you could ever purchase in a national store, and you'll have spent less doing it.
9.) The gift of taking away.
A dear friend of mine has two little tykes and she's made a beautiful tradition in her home that teaches her little ones to give. Each Christmas, they count their new gifts and for each new toy received, they must choose one to give away to someone less fortunate. I love it. What a concept! The gifts go to those who need to be loved most. The gifts are green (cuz they weren't purchased new) and free of consumerism baggage. Best of all, the giving of these gifts will instill a spirit in the kids that will outlast their parent's choices...likely spreading to the generations. I can think of no better gift to give those kids than to teach them to give things away!
10.) Inspiration
Each of these gifts come with an added bonus...by gifting this way, you inspire others to do the same. When they feel the warm fuzzy love you've given and realize that they can learn from your example, you'll have acheived something special--your gifting will have gone on to innumerable others. What a thought.
Peace and love to you all this gifting season.
May your giving be about sharing,
May your giving be about love!
Mikey
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